


With Jam and Bread

by cortexikid



Series: Symbiote Cinema: Klyntar's Harshest Critic [2]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Eddie has some thoughts on Venom's choice of caffeine, M/M, Venom thinks Eddies in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cortexikid/pseuds/cortexikid
Summary: “If you’re gonna suggest that liquidised human entrails have the same chemical as coffee or something, V, I swear—"Tea.Venom really was developing a knack for striking Eddie dumb.Not that hard, Eddie.“Shut up,” he snarked, pretty much proving the symbiote’s point with his lack of smart comeback, “you want me to drink tea. Seriously? Like the Chinese herbal stuff that Mrs Chen—”English breakfast tea.





	With Jam and Bread

**Author's Note:**

> So, guess this is a series now lol. Honestly, I didn’t expect the response I got for Demon Barber of San Fran. Thanks so much! Hope you enjoy this installment.
> 
> Eddie thinks of and refers to Venom as “him.” But Venom finds gender a ridiculous concept.

“Black coffee. Largest ya got. Thanks.”

 

**_Eddddddddiiiiiiiieeeeeee._ **

 

“Stop being dramatic,” Eddie Brock murmured into his collar as he waited in line at the coffee shop down the street from his new apartment. Just one of the many perks of a steady pay check.

 

**_We hate coffee, Eddie. You’re only doing this because of shiny suit man._ **

“Contrary to what you might believe, bud,” Eddie rose a hand to his right ear where a Bluetooth sat, turned off and just for show, “I don’t actually base all my decisions on whatever John Mulaney has or hasn’t said.”

 

**_Human comedy is subjective, Eddie._ **

“Oh yeah? And what about Klyntars’? Oh wait—that’s right. You’re the Carrot Top of comedy.”

 

**_We’re hilarious._ **

 

“No, you know what’s hilarious, V?” Eddie asked lightly, smiling at the barista in thanks as he picked up his bitter beverage and made to leave, “Your Netflix watch-list. I mean, Jesus. What the hell kinda shit are you into?”

**_We have a refined—_ **

“Anime and cooking shows do not a refined televisionary-palette make,” the human smirked just before he took his first sip, already anticipating the wave of displeasure that was milliseconds from washing over him.

 

**_Disgusting._ **

“Baby,” Eddie mumbled the light insult against the cup, supressing Venom’s urge to wince, “Not my fault you can’t keep up with my refined palette for coff—”

 

**_None of your palettes are refined. You’re basic, Eddie._ **

****

That stopped Eddie in his tracks. Literally. Right there in the streets of San Francisco.

 

“Where did—you’ve been watching Real Housewives again, haven’t you?”

 

**_…_ **

 

~*~

 

Venom pleaded the fifth for the rest of the journey home. Eddie honestly couldn’t remember the last time it had been so quiet inside his head. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

 

“Come on, V. Quit sulking,” he deadpanned as he shoved open his apartment door, kicking it closed and depositing his groceries onto the counter.

 

“I’m the one you called basic. If anyone should be sulking, it should—”

 

**_Not sulking. Thinking._ **

****

“Care to share with the class?” Eddie asked, opening the fridge, deciding not to give him any more shit about his…unique taste in reality TV, lest he be subjected to more silent treatment and no doubt one or two large Amazon purchases made when he was sound asleep.

 

Black tendrils rippled along his collarbone, bubbling and expanding until a face formed right next to him, cloudy white eyes and razor-sharp teeth now a familiar sight. The expression they formed however, was not. If Eddie didn’t know better, he would almost say Venom looked hesitant.

 

 ** _You crave caffeine_** , the Symbiote began slowly as if he were choosing his words carefully, **_need it to…get through your work day. Good for_** **_research and deadlines and other human drivel. For this, you drink disgusting black liquid. But—_**

****

He paused. Eddie waited, milk in hand, genuinely interested in where his bodymate was going with this.

****

**_Would you be…amenable to an alternative?_ **

 

“If you’re gonna suggest that liquidised human entrails have the same chemical as coffee or something, V, I swear—"

 

**_Tea._ **

****

Venom really was developing a knack for striking Eddie dumb.

****

**_Not that hard, Eddie._ **

****

“Shut up,” he snarked, pretty much proving the symbiote’s point with his lack of smart comeback, “you want me to drink tea. Seriously? Like the Chinese herbal stuff that Mrs Chen—"

 

**_English breakfast tea._ **

****

Eddie was openly gaping now.

 

**_Close your mouth, Eddie. We do not enjoy the taste of flies._ **

 

“English breakfast tea? Like the—Downtown Abbey, high tea at noon, tea and crumpets kinda tea?”

 

Venom inclined his head at him.

****

**_We will need a kettle._ **

****

****

~*~

 

They ended up buying an electric kettle online. Not an easy find. Venom insisted that the one for the stove was more “authentic” but was quickly persuaded in the direction of an electric when Eddie gently reminded him of the high-pitched whistling that often went along with stove-top kettles.

 

Which was how Eddie found himself in the British aisle of Walmart surrounded by about a million different types of tea, completely at a loss.

 

“Where’s a British person when you need one,” he grumbled under his breath, eyes scanning words like, “bags” and “leaf” and “Earl Grey” and “Green.”

 

Suddenly, his left arm lunged forward, snatching up a white and blue box.

 

**_This one._ **

 

Eddie scanned the box wearily.

 

**_It’s not a bomb, dumbass._ **

 

“This does not mean I’m giving up coffee completely,” he hissed, knowing as he spoke that his words were falling on deaf ears.

 

**_Let’s just try it, Eddie. We might like it._ **

****

~*~

****

It didn’t look right.

 

“It’s…cloudy. Is it meant to be cloudy?”

 

**_We need to add milk._ **

 

Eddie and the Symbiote (manifesting from his hip) stared down at the singular, slightly-chipped cup and saucer that Eddie (upon Venom’s heavy insistence) bought from a nearby goodwill.

 

“If we’re drinking it, we’re drinking it black, bud,” the human said not for the first time, wondering yet again just where his bodymate got his notions from.

 

**_Go on, then._ **

 

With a sigh, Eddie ignored Venom’s stare that was boring a hole into his skull, awkwardly picking up the cup, noticing that his fingers were far too large to clasp the handle correctly.

 

“Here goes,” he shrugged, taking a sip.

 

It was a little on the hot side, irritating his throat, but all in all—

 

“Not bad.”

 

**_Told you we’d like it._ **

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie waved a hand in his direction, taking another sip, “Okay, we’ll add tea to our caffeine regimen. Maybe one or two mornings a week.”

  

It was a compromise Venom seemed willing to make.

 

He inched closer to Eddie’s cheek, staring at the cup that was close to his lips.

****

**_Now for the jam._ **

 

Eddie lowered the cup, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“What?”

 

**_Jam and bread._ **

 

Something rang in the back of Eddie’s head. Some note of familiarity to those words that he just couldn’t quite place.

 

“You mean jelly?”

 

**_Tea. A drink with jam and bread. Those are the words._ **

****

The reference hit Eddie like a struck bell, ringing in his ears as the song he hadn’t heard since childhood wafted from the recesses of his brain.

 

“V, are you seriously telling me that this has all been because you watched The Sound of Music?”

 

His silence spoke volumes. So, did the lowered gaze.

 

Amusement bubbled up Eddie’s chest as he recalled their last conversation about late-night movie binges.

 

“What happened to liking movies with ‘Tom actors’?”

 

Venom’s gaze rose, meeting his, his expression flippant.

 

**_We like Christophers now._ **

****

“Yeah you and the rest of the internet,” Eddie smirked, holding the teacup out in front of him.

 

“Why don’t you give it a try, Maria?”

 

Venom threw him an unimpressed glance before a thin tentacle, barely the width of a pen inched towards him, brushing against his knuckles before wrapping around the cup handle. Eddie could barely keep from beaming as he watched the hulking black mass gently cradle the cup in his make-shift palm, slowly raising it to his mouth.

 

The clanging of ceramic hitting rows of jagged teeth was like nails to a chalkboard. The bodymates shared a weighted glance, locked in an expectant stare before the symbiote unceremoniously chomped down, swallowing the cup in one bite.

 

Eddie continued to stare as Venom chewed the crunching ceramic, waiting patiently until he swallowed.

 

“Good?”

 

Venom threw him his usual toothy grin, a sliver of tea cup wedged in between two of his sharp fangs.

 

**_Good._ **

 

Eddie shook his head, a smile gracing his face.

 

“Guess we’re going back to goodwill.”

 

* * *

I’m Irish. We take our tea very seriously. I make a mean cuppa. Venom would approve, I like to think. 

That Mulaney joke came to mind when I saw [this post](http://octoberobserver.tumblr.com/post/178990704871/wingedwarbler-isnt-this-how-the-venom-movie-went). Hilarious stuff.

Come yell with me about these idiots on my [Tumblr](http://octoberobserver.tumblr.com)


End file.
